“goodbye to all that”–joan didion

“It would be a long while because, quite simply, I was in love with New York.  I do not mean ‘love’ in any colloquial way, I mean that I was in love with the city, the way you love the first person who ever touches you and never love anyone quite that way again.  I remember walking across Sixty-second Street one twilight that first spring, or the second spring, they were all alike for a while.  I was late to meet someone but I stopped at Lexington Avenue and bought a peach and stood on the corner eating it and knew that I had come out of the West and reached the mirage.  I could taste the peach and feel the soft air blowing from a subway grating on my legs and I could smell lilac and garbage and expensive perfume and I knew that it would cost something sooner or later–because I did not belong there, did not come from there–but when you are twenty-two or twenty-three, you figure that later you will have a high emotional balance and you will be able to pay whatever it costs.”

–from Slouching Towards Bethlehem

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